He loves me, he loves me not..

Nope, I'm not talking about Dustin. He loves me everyday and likes me most days too! Manuel, the three year old, on the other hand is not so consistent. He likes me about every other day but I am learning how to avoid his bad attitude with positive reinforcement. it's a learning experience to say the least and now that I'm getting the hang of it I'll be gone in two weeks! It's good experience though and I'm glad it has been trying some days because it has taught me a lot and I have learned more patience than I have Spanish. Bethany will be here in less than four hours! I'm so excited to see her, it is so nice to be able to see someone from home and for it to be one of my best friends. We are going to Toledo tomorrow! It was the original capital of Spain and has history galore. I'm a nerd to some extent, so needless to say I'm excited to go explore and see all there is to the city. They are famous for making swords there and I would buy one, but I have a feeling that I wouldn't make it through customs and I really do want to come home...eventually :) its been really hot here but there's no humidity so it is great! Everyone is taking a siesta right now but I like to sleep well at night so i have yet to experience a Spanish siesta. Today I think I'll opt for watching Cinderella in Spanish to improve my sweet Spanish speaking skills!

He likes me he really likes me!

Today was a lovely day. Manuel liked me for most of the day! Which is a great improvement. He is about to turn four and acts like a four year old. Enough said. We went to Madrid tonight for a casting call for the twins then stayed and played at a park. The kids love being outside! They were so much fun to play with I love the faces they make when they laugh hysterically. And the fact that me pretending tO be the wolf in little red rising hood causes initiates this reaction.

It was nice to get outside! Today was great because I just finished booking the last of the reservations for trains now I just have to book one more hotel and were set to go! I'm almost down to two weeks left here and I know I'll be sad to leave them. I'm stoked to go travel with my dad but will be sad to leave the family. It's a good thing I have skype to be able to keep in touch.

Today llani's mom told me I looked like I was losing weight ( which I don't think I am ) so at lunch she proceeded to dish seconds of everything onto my plate. I ate it but I haven't been that full in a long time! I don't know why she thinks I dont eat enough, because I've been eating plenty! Just not the rabbit haha! God is good. I am so excited about all the opportunities and blessings I've been given and the people I get to share it with. It is so easy to dwell on the negative in life, but much more fulfilling to focus on the positive. Another thing I've been learning is that I need to not be so quick to find the negative in people but to instinctively see the positive and love them the way God does.

Goodnight!

Today I forgot.

I forgot to be less selfish today. I was too busy self-loathing and being homesick this afternoon. For my family, friends and grass to walk barefoot in. But then I decided to try to revel in God more and when I walked to school to Pick up Manuel I appreciated the beautiful weather and sky etc. I perked up thinking about all of God's sweet creations. Afternoons in the house are the hardest because the kids are cranky and only want their parents. As I was thinking how nice it would be to be able to go outside, God reminded me that children are his creation. Duh. His most treasured, to be precise. How silly I am for not seeing that sooner. I think what God meant for me right now when he told me to revel in him is to revel in his creation, in the children I am with right now. Simple yet easily bypassed. Kids can be annoying, but all they really want is to be loved and taken care of. As adults, yeah I think I'm an adult now, it's easy to see this as weak and avoid letting others do this; love and take care of us. But I need to let God do that more!

Anyway, then I read colossians tonight and realized that God loves all of us not because we are perfect, that's not feasible, he loves us because he created us. Each of us are a different work of art ( or piece of work )...get it? Haha but really though I'm a work of art! Not because I deserve to be or because of anything I've ever done, but because I was created by an artist that payed careful attention to every detail. I am loved because I am a part of the creation that we are to revel in. So I need to work on seeing other people the same way God does; as works of art, each different and beautiful and loved because the big man upstairs enjoys getting creative. Whew, two blogs in one day! Hope I don't have too many typos :)

I don't really like it all that much.

Living in a city, I mean. The family lives in a flat on the third floor in a large building. The only open area near them for the kids to play in is dry dirt filled with big rocks. There are a couple of parks but no grass: the kids play in very rough sand. The mom had netting out up outside all of the windows just in case one of the kids would ever try to climb out. What I'm getting at is that I love mahomet! How awesome is I that I grew up with a huge yard filled with grass and an enormous play set my dad built. Sometimes here I feel like a caged hamster because rarely do I go out of the apartment more than once a day: nor do the kids. The thing is though, even the houses here aren't that much better. They are very close together, more comparable to condos. And still no grass to be seen. I miss grass. Ive found I'm not a fan of Places that I can't walk around barefoot in. People in Spain don't even walk barefoot in their houses. Just because im not a fan of the living arrangements doesn't mean I am not enjoying it though! The kids are starting to respond to me in English which is awesome! And my Spanish is improving a little.

I am stoked for this weekend because Bethany is coming on Friday and Saturday we are going to Toledo and Sunday we are seeing more of Madrid. It will go by so fast! I hope to have all the reservations done for my dad and i's trip by then and am well on my way! Today Mercedes is teaching me how to make a russian salad. It's bunny-less so I think I'll like it :)

The rabbit massacre

Friday I walked into the kitchen to find the kids' grandma holding a skinned rabbit. She proceeded to lay it on a cutting board and hacked it up with a large knife and a vengeance I've never seen before. Bones and all. Then she cooked it and all I could think of as the aroma of hacked up, cooking rabbit filled the air was the numerous pet bunnies I have had. At lunch time I kindly declined trying the rabbit and told them I couldn't stop thinking about m pets I had. They understood and even more so when he grandma told Llani I had seen her showing it to the kids and then hacking it up. Poor bunny! Anyway, we haven't done much this weekend, we didn't leave the house until ten pm last night but that's ok. Today I have been working on making train reservations for my dad and I while periodically helping Manuel figure out how to play games online. The reservations are proving to be more tedious than I expected. I am learning though! I get homesick more when we don't do much so yesterday was trying towards late afternoon but last night I read in Philippians that I need to delight in God and not just delight but to revel in him for he is good. That's a good word. He painted a beautiful sunset last night too and I used it to teach Manuel about sunsets and that god is a painter. Tomorrow begins another week but a busy one because I will be working on reservations! I only have 3 weeks left with he family so I want to enjoy them as much as I can and try to learn more spanish as well. Language is hard! But it is a gift to be able to communicate with each other. It's funny how many of the same expressions I use that they use here. Like "throwing in the towel" who knew they used that in Spain and that it's literally the same " tiro la toalla" humanity is universal. No one on the other side of the world is really that different than me. And we are the other side of the world for many people and are not so different from them either. Alright back to reservations. Just wanted to write before the Internet goes out again!

Oh la laa

The twins keep saying oh la laa because bethany taught them that last weekend. It's pretty adorable and they are also stRting to say more words in English which is encouraging! I've come to the conclusion that the three year old is in an awful stage right now. He can be really tough to deal with and eveuthing that goes wrong is my fault and he cries. But he's a kid and let's be real: sometimes kids are annoying! But they have this redeeming qualities that make it better. I've been trying to be less selfish lately and I honestly haven't been very good at it. For the past three mornings I've asked God to help me be less selfish so that I can focus more On the family I am living with and teaching the kids instead of th king about what I would like to do or who I miss. Anyway it wasn't until 8pm tonight That I even rememberEd praying hat. Needless to say, tOday I was easily frustrated and self absorbed in the fact that I miss my people! Pray for me please that I can start to live this out more. It's so much more rewarding to live putting others first but because it's more rewarding it's selfish to want tO live that way for that reason. Ay! My mind is lke scrambled eggs trying tO sPeak Spanish teach English and be all intellectual. Incould really go for some of my dads breakfast right now. And some pepsi. And potato salad. Please pray that I have more patience with the three year old too. Hes a bit of a booger but he's smart and adorable. I am disfrutaring Spain and my Spanglish is getting great. I apologize for the typos; I'm not use to this iPod thing yet.

I don't generally make lists...

But yesterday I made one of all the things I should remember to not forget. That sentence sounds funny when you say it out loud but its valid. There reLly are a lot of things I Ned to remember to not forget. One thing from my list is to take time to become a part of someone's reality. last summer I learned that you never fully know someone else's reLity. Therefore we have no right to judge anyone because rarely do we realize what someones reality truly is. This summer I am learning that I think Over anything else God wants me tO invest my time in people and in order to do that well I need to be more selfless and take the time to know and bE a part of the realities of those around me. Right now I need to continue to be a part of this family's reality and get to know them better. This helps me better be able to love them too.

Alrighty enough intellectual jib jab. We didn't have Internet for four days and it just so happened that I was terribly emotional during that time. Needless to say I was not a happy camper. It is one thing to bE separated from all that you know by miles of ocean but another entirely to not have SKYPE! exaggerated? Absolutely! But I really did feel so far away and I wantEd to go home. But the Internet is alive and kickin again and my emo phase has passed...for now. Everyday is a new experience. Last weekend Bethany came and my family took us to Madrid. It was a great time and I got to see some mportant places. I am learning more about the Spanish culture... For exame, you can buy canned octopus. Yep. And when they say you'll leave to go to the city this afternoon they mean 6 pm. I am having a little frustration as far as speaking Spanish goes. Learning a different language is hard and Spain Spanish is different than what I have been exposed to for the duration of my learning but it is making me more well rounded, or at least I hope! Now I will write more frequently as long as the Internet continues to work. It is nice to be able to write at night as a sort of alone time. I am finding hat as much as I live being around people all of the time, I do need a few minutes a day :) I will end with this poem that Dustin sent me that I love... Don't worry he did not write it :)


Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst for the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back the horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future in strength, courage, hope and love