Here's a bit more...

This blog has really just turned into my journal. It's been good to reflect on things and write them and if you like to read them that's cool!

I'm really excitd that it's July tomorrow. I will be home before July is over so that is exciting! More importantly, I get to travel with my dad soon which I have obviously been looking forward to!

Today I got barfed on. I'm a little irritable and tired. But I'm trying this new thing where I see the positive instead of the negative, so here goes. I am thankful for this experience. It has taught me so much, like patience, Spanish, how to make paella, and that when you sing nursery rhymes all day you also lose your voice.

When you are in a new situation you adapt. I've adapted to doing life without really having my family or friends be a part of it. I'm having fun and it's a great experience but I don't like it overall. It is awesome to meet new people and experience other cultures and learn other languages and travel, but it's worth a lot more if you are sharing it with the people you are closest to. God has been a part of every day here and that is enough. But I also want the other people in my life to experience with me too. This just says a lot about what awesome family and friends I have :)

There was one day while I was here that I had a momentary lapse of reason, or rather one of faith. As I have had way too much time to think, one day while we were driving it suddenly occurred to me that I am scared of death. Not just me dying, but more so those I love. God made a good save though when he reminded me that this life isn't ours. Living these past six weeks away from everyone has taught me that I am capable of a lot when I trust God to handle it. It has made me realize that as awful as it sounds that I can live without the things and even people that I think I need. God is the only necessity. We all die at some point! I love dustin, but I could live without him because he is not my soul mate; Jesus is. And I know Dustin feels the same way. He doesn't need me, but he loves me anyway. I think that's how God loves us. He doesn't need us, and we are really awful most of the time; but he loves us anyway. God is just a lot better at loving unconditionally than we are.

I have learned a lot that I will use in teaching and eventually parenting. I have also learned that I need to make the most of every day I get to wake up to. I think life is mostly just about realizing how lucky we are and being thankful for what we've been blessed with even though sometimes that can be the hardest thing to do. So I'm going to try to be better at that.

Just a sneak peek...

Of what God has been teaching me. But I'm tired so I'll just throw out a few things and explain more later.

God can surprise you!

He is always faithful

I am capable of more than I think when I've got my priorities straight

Seeing the negative in life is a whole lot easier than seeing the positive in most situations

But God can give you perfect peace if you let him.

I like tomatoes and cucumbers!

I have a lot to work on next year, I need to keep developing my patience and work on showing love through all of my actions, not just when I feel like it

I need to sleep more.

Going with the flow

Well this was quite the weekend.Saturday Bethany came and we hung out in Madrid and ate mcdonalds and went to a museum with some strange exhibits. Then we hung out with my family and celebrated the four year Olds birthday! We woke up Sunday and found a message from a guy we knew that lives in fisher saying he wanted to meet up with us in Madrid. The problem was that he did not have constant internet connection and once we leave the flat neither do I. So long story short Bethany and I took quite a few hours to finally find him, then he didn't have a place tO stay so we stayed in a hostel. We got to finally show him around Madrid some but then the ATM ate bethany's debit card. What I'm getting at is that we just really don't have control over some things in life and it's best to just go with it otherwise well spend our entire lives stressed out about things we can't change. And that seems like a waste. This weekend was kind of flown by the seat of our Pants but it was an adventure. And I found a great tapas bar to take my dad to when he gets here in 6 DAYS! I'm so excited! Knowing this is my last week with the kids though means I will really try to enjoy and appreciate the last few days I have with them.

I must say, really reiterate, that it has been and continues to be such a blessing that ive been able to travel so much and see all of the things I have, but everytime I leave God teaches me to appreciate coming home more and more. I am blessed no matter where I'm at because God is everywhere I go.

P.s. We should take more time to eat and share food and enjoy it. Because it's delicious and fun! And it's a great time to spend with people that you like a lot :)

Oh my!

I've found that as much as I repeat certain things I would love for the kids to learn that they really just pick and choose. I've sung countless nursery rhymes in the past five weeks but what the twins say most is "oh my!" I do say this often, but it is not something I have directly nor intentionally taught them.

This can go both ways. I know it's super premature to be thinking about parenting, but I can't helP but observe and make mental notes while having the experience ofliving with another family. So what I kePt thnking today was how many hints parents teach their children unintentionally. This goes many ways: you can unintentionally teach a child how o be deceitful, but you can also unintentionally teach them what love looks like. Or how to say "oh my!"

I guess what I'm getting at is that I think that's a big part of life. The way I live will unintentionally affect many people around me and that means I want it to be in a good Way.

If you can't tell, I have a lot of time to mull over my thoughts. I'm getting restless and am ready to travel with my dad. But God gives us perfect peace if we let him so that's what I'm going to shoot for.

Casting call

I don't know if I've written about this before or not, but here goes: the kids go try out to be in commercials and ads. I didn't know that kids did this, but it makes sense when I think about all the kids there are in commercials in tv: of course they have to try out. So today we went to a casting call. Mostly these are crowded and take forever and are stressful bcause you have to keep the kids occupied while making sure they don't run out into the streets of Madrid. Today was no different. But at least we got out of the house!

Here are my thoughts on casting calls though. The applicants have to meet a certain criteria before they can even try out. Then only a select few are chosen for the commercial or job. Now stick with me here. And correct me if I'm wrong (yes, you can actually leave commments!) but isn't this concept of a casting call eerily similar to the way we look at "religion"? Every religion in the world thinks that they are right. And every religion has a set of criteria that one has to meet before entering into this "religious" state of mind. As Christians, we say you must realize you are a sinner. After this realization we are allowed to try out, to ask God to forgive us and to try to live our lives by Jesus' example and ultimately be picked for the part to spend eternity with God. It's a casting call.

I honestly don't really have anything else to say about that other than to question; have we boxed up God to such an extent that our faith has become like a casting call?

I have a feeling that God is much bigger than that.

Just a sidenote: I passed by an apartment today on the way to the casting call that Picasso lived in for a couple of years. It was rad!

Stepping on toes...

Literally though. Manuel has been deliberately stepping on my feet multiple times a day lately. And hitting is a problem as well. But today he got in trouble because I talked to his mom about it when she saw him step on my foot today. So why did I not do more about it earlier? Considering this is my fifth week here and all. Well what I've found is that it's awkward and hard to know what to do in situations such as mine when you are living with a family. And being paid to teach their children.

Today I was so fed up with his behavior ( becaus he does not listen to what I say) that I just started ignoring him. It's his birthday Friday and I didn't want him to get in trouble and get his party taken away or anything. But then his mom saw him and he got n trouble. Hopefully this will mean things will be better, and that my toes will be spared.

I have been learning so much patience and many positive reinforcement tactics! I thought that coming here, Gid would mostly us this experience to help prepare me to sPeak Spanish better, but I'm finding that He's actually aimed it more towards classroom management and parenting! These will be just as applicable as s

Estoy lista!

I am ready. I just booked the last hotel for my dad and i's trip! Just thought I'd write a comical tidbit I forgot to mention yesterday. Friday night before I went to pick up Bethany I showered. Ah, my alone time during the day. And there is a window in the shower so I can see outside even though I don't get to go out all that much. Anyway I was showering and all of the sudden Ivor a little colder. Well it wasn he open window or the water: manuel had come into the bathroom and was standing there staring at me. Welp, good hin at least part of the glass shower doors are frosted over, right? Anyway I told him to get ou and he proceeded to laugh and stand there so I grabbed my towel got out and chased him out. See, there is no lock on the bathroom I shower in. Needless to say, my alone time was cut short by a giggling three year old. Hope the experience doesn't scare him. I'm not too worried though, he'll learn more about anatomy when he gets to jr high health class.

Holy Toledo!

Bethany came this weekend! On Friday I ooh the metro to go gt her from the bus station in madrid. We then went and explored Madrid more and llani's cousin Jose Antonio showed us around to the plaza mayor and the palacio real and a famous cathedral. Then Saturday we went to toledo. How cool is it that we can go see a town and walk on some of the same sones that people did hundreds of years ago! I got to see el greco's house and a lot of his work. The one sad thing was that the cathedral wAs closed! I was really lookin forward to seeing it but there is a religious festival this comin weekend so I was closed for repairs. Such is life, there are things we cannot control! But the outside of it was beautiful anyway :)

Happy fathers day! I am sad i can't actually see or hang out with my dad today but we will make up for it when he gets here in 13 days! I am so thankful for my dad. For all of the things he has taught me, for his support and encouragement and live and making me feel like I can do anything if I work hard at it. It's a blessing to be able to respect my dad as much as I do! So daddy, happy fathers day! I love you so much!

My voice is getting raspier as the weeks go on. The constant talking and singing are taking their toll. The kids are learning a lot so it is worth it! The history in Toledo was awesome to see and experience. I have some pictures of Madrid on Facebook and Toledo soon to come!


So happy fathers day! Can't wait to see you daddy :)

He loves me, he loves me not..

Nope, I'm not talking about Dustin. He loves me everyday and likes me most days too! Manuel, the three year old, on the other hand is not so consistent. He likes me about every other day but I am learning how to avoid his bad attitude with positive reinforcement. it's a learning experience to say the least and now that I'm getting the hang of it I'll be gone in two weeks! It's good experience though and I'm glad it has been trying some days because it has taught me a lot and I have learned more patience than I have Spanish. Bethany will be here in less than four hours! I'm so excited to see her, it is so nice to be able to see someone from home and for it to be one of my best friends. We are going to Toledo tomorrow! It was the original capital of Spain and has history galore. I'm a nerd to some extent, so needless to say I'm excited to go explore and see all there is to the city. They are famous for making swords there and I would buy one, but I have a feeling that I wouldn't make it through customs and I really do want to come home...eventually :) its been really hot here but there's no humidity so it is great! Everyone is taking a siesta right now but I like to sleep well at night so i have yet to experience a Spanish siesta. Today I think I'll opt for watching Cinderella in Spanish to improve my sweet Spanish speaking skills!

He likes me he really likes me!

Today was a lovely day. Manuel liked me for most of the day! Which is a great improvement. He is about to turn four and acts like a four year old. Enough said. We went to Madrid tonight for a casting call for the twins then stayed and played at a park. The kids love being outside! They were so much fun to play with I love the faces they make when they laugh hysterically. And the fact that me pretending tO be the wolf in little red rising hood causes initiates this reaction.

It was nice to get outside! Today was great because I just finished booking the last of the reservations for trains now I just have to book one more hotel and were set to go! I'm almost down to two weeks left here and I know I'll be sad to leave them. I'm stoked to go travel with my dad but will be sad to leave the family. It's a good thing I have skype to be able to keep in touch.

Today llani's mom told me I looked like I was losing weight ( which I don't think I am ) so at lunch she proceeded to dish seconds of everything onto my plate. I ate it but I haven't been that full in a long time! I don't know why she thinks I dont eat enough, because I've been eating plenty! Just not the rabbit haha! God is good. I am so excited about all the opportunities and blessings I've been given and the people I get to share it with. It is so easy to dwell on the negative in life, but much more fulfilling to focus on the positive. Another thing I've been learning is that I need to not be so quick to find the negative in people but to instinctively see the positive and love them the way God does.

Goodnight!

Today I forgot.

I forgot to be less selfish today. I was too busy self-loathing and being homesick this afternoon. For my family, friends and grass to walk barefoot in. But then I decided to try to revel in God more and when I walked to school to Pick up Manuel I appreciated the beautiful weather and sky etc. I perked up thinking about all of God's sweet creations. Afternoons in the house are the hardest because the kids are cranky and only want their parents. As I was thinking how nice it would be to be able to go outside, God reminded me that children are his creation. Duh. His most treasured, to be precise. How silly I am for not seeing that sooner. I think what God meant for me right now when he told me to revel in him is to revel in his creation, in the children I am with right now. Simple yet easily bypassed. Kids can be annoying, but all they really want is to be loved and taken care of. As adults, yeah I think I'm an adult now, it's easy to see this as weak and avoid letting others do this; love and take care of us. But I need to let God do that more!

Anyway, then I read colossians tonight and realized that God loves all of us not because we are perfect, that's not feasible, he loves us because he created us. Each of us are a different work of art ( or piece of work )...get it? Haha but really though I'm a work of art! Not because I deserve to be or because of anything I've ever done, but because I was created by an artist that payed careful attention to every detail. I am loved because I am a part of the creation that we are to revel in. So I need to work on seeing other people the same way God does; as works of art, each different and beautiful and loved because the big man upstairs enjoys getting creative. Whew, two blogs in one day! Hope I don't have too many typos :)

I don't really like it all that much.

Living in a city, I mean. The family lives in a flat on the third floor in a large building. The only open area near them for the kids to play in is dry dirt filled with big rocks. There are a couple of parks but no grass: the kids play in very rough sand. The mom had netting out up outside all of the windows just in case one of the kids would ever try to climb out. What I'm getting at is that I love mahomet! How awesome is I that I grew up with a huge yard filled with grass and an enormous play set my dad built. Sometimes here I feel like a caged hamster because rarely do I go out of the apartment more than once a day: nor do the kids. The thing is though, even the houses here aren't that much better. They are very close together, more comparable to condos. And still no grass to be seen. I miss grass. Ive found I'm not a fan of Places that I can't walk around barefoot in. People in Spain don't even walk barefoot in their houses. Just because im not a fan of the living arrangements doesn't mean I am not enjoying it though! The kids are starting to respond to me in English which is awesome! And my Spanish is improving a little.

I am stoked for this weekend because Bethany is coming on Friday and Saturday we are going to Toledo and Sunday we are seeing more of Madrid. It will go by so fast! I hope to have all the reservations done for my dad and i's trip by then and am well on my way! Today Mercedes is teaching me how to make a russian salad. It's bunny-less so I think I'll like it :)

The rabbit massacre

Friday I walked into the kitchen to find the kids' grandma holding a skinned rabbit. She proceeded to lay it on a cutting board and hacked it up with a large knife and a vengeance I've never seen before. Bones and all. Then she cooked it and all I could think of as the aroma of hacked up, cooking rabbit filled the air was the numerous pet bunnies I have had. At lunch time I kindly declined trying the rabbit and told them I couldn't stop thinking about m pets I had. They understood and even more so when he grandma told Llani I had seen her showing it to the kids and then hacking it up. Poor bunny! Anyway, we haven't done much this weekend, we didn't leave the house until ten pm last night but that's ok. Today I have been working on making train reservations for my dad and I while periodically helping Manuel figure out how to play games online. The reservations are proving to be more tedious than I expected. I am learning though! I get homesick more when we don't do much so yesterday was trying towards late afternoon but last night I read in Philippians that I need to delight in God and not just delight but to revel in him for he is good. That's a good word. He painted a beautiful sunset last night too and I used it to teach Manuel about sunsets and that god is a painter. Tomorrow begins another week but a busy one because I will be working on reservations! I only have 3 weeks left with he family so I want to enjoy them as much as I can and try to learn more spanish as well. Language is hard! But it is a gift to be able to communicate with each other. It's funny how many of the same expressions I use that they use here. Like "throwing in the towel" who knew they used that in Spain and that it's literally the same " tiro la toalla" humanity is universal. No one on the other side of the world is really that different than me. And we are the other side of the world for many people and are not so different from them either. Alright back to reservations. Just wanted to write before the Internet goes out again!

Oh la laa

The twins keep saying oh la laa because bethany taught them that last weekend. It's pretty adorable and they are also stRting to say more words in English which is encouraging! I've come to the conclusion that the three year old is in an awful stage right now. He can be really tough to deal with and eveuthing that goes wrong is my fault and he cries. But he's a kid and let's be real: sometimes kids are annoying! But they have this redeeming qualities that make it better. I've been trying to be less selfish lately and I honestly haven't been very good at it. For the past three mornings I've asked God to help me be less selfish so that I can focus more On the family I am living with and teaching the kids instead of th king about what I would like to do or who I miss. Anyway it wasn't until 8pm tonight That I even rememberEd praying hat. Needless to say, tOday I was easily frustrated and self absorbed in the fact that I miss my people! Pray for me please that I can start to live this out more. It's so much more rewarding to live putting others first but because it's more rewarding it's selfish to want tO live that way for that reason. Ay! My mind is lke scrambled eggs trying tO sPeak Spanish teach English and be all intellectual. Incould really go for some of my dads breakfast right now. And some pepsi. And potato salad. Please pray that I have more patience with the three year old too. Hes a bit of a booger but he's smart and adorable. I am disfrutaring Spain and my Spanglish is getting great. I apologize for the typos; I'm not use to this iPod thing yet.

I don't generally make lists...

But yesterday I made one of all the things I should remember to not forget. That sentence sounds funny when you say it out loud but its valid. There reLly are a lot of things I Ned to remember to not forget. One thing from my list is to take time to become a part of someone's reality. last summer I learned that you never fully know someone else's reLity. Therefore we have no right to judge anyone because rarely do we realize what someones reality truly is. This summer I am learning that I think Over anything else God wants me tO invest my time in people and in order to do that well I need to be more selfless and take the time to know and bE a part of the realities of those around me. Right now I need to continue to be a part of this family's reality and get to know them better. This helps me better be able to love them too.

Alrighty enough intellectual jib jab. We didn't have Internet for four days and it just so happened that I was terribly emotional during that time. Needless to say I was not a happy camper. It is one thing to bE separated from all that you know by miles of ocean but another entirely to not have SKYPE! exaggerated? Absolutely! But I really did feel so far away and I wantEd to go home. But the Internet is alive and kickin again and my emo phase has passed...for now. Everyday is a new experience. Last weekend Bethany came and my family took us to Madrid. It was a great time and I got to see some mportant places. I am learning more about the Spanish culture... For exame, you can buy canned octopus. Yep. And when they say you'll leave to go to the city this afternoon they mean 6 pm. I am having a little frustration as far as speaking Spanish goes. Learning a different language is hard and Spain Spanish is different than what I have been exposed to for the duration of my learning but it is making me more well rounded, or at least I hope! Now I will write more frequently as long as the Internet continues to work. It is nice to be able to write at night as a sort of alone time. I am finding hat as much as I live being around people all of the time, I do need a few minutes a day :) I will end with this poem that Dustin sent me that I love... Don't worry he did not write it :)


Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst for the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back the horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future in strength, courage, hope and love