This blog has really just turned into my journal. It's been good to reflect on things and write them and if you like to read them that's cool!
I'm really excitd that it's July tomorrow. I will be home before July is over so that is exciting! More importantly, I get to travel with my dad soon which I have obviously been looking forward to!
Today I got barfed on. I'm a little irritable and tired. But I'm trying this new thing where I see the positive instead of the negative, so here goes. I am thankful for this experience. It has taught me so much, like patience, Spanish, how to make paella, and that when you sing nursery rhymes all day you also lose your voice.
When you are in a new situation you adapt. I've adapted to doing life without really having my family or friends be a part of it. I'm having fun and it's a great experience but I don't like it overall. It is awesome to meet new people and experience other cultures and learn other languages and travel, but it's worth a lot more if you are sharing it with the people you are closest to. God has been a part of every day here and that is enough. But I also want the other people in my life to experience with me too. This just says a lot about what awesome family and friends I have :)
There was one day while I was here that I had a momentary lapse of reason, or rather one of faith. As I have had way too much time to think, one day while we were driving it suddenly occurred to me that I am scared of death. Not just me dying, but more so those I love. God made a good save though when he reminded me that this life isn't ours. Living these past six weeks away from everyone has taught me that I am capable of a lot when I trust God to handle it. It has made me realize that as awful as it sounds that I can live without the things and even people that I think I need. God is the only necessity. We all die at some point! I love dustin, but I could live without him because he is not my soul mate; Jesus is. And I know Dustin feels the same way. He doesn't need me, but he loves me anyway. I think that's how God loves us. He doesn't need us, and we are really awful most of the time; but he loves us anyway. God is just a lot better at loving unconditionally than we are.
I have learned a lot that I will use in teaching and eventually parenting. I have also learned that I need to make the most of every day I get to wake up to. I think life is mostly just about realizing how lucky we are and being thankful for what we've been blessed with even though sometimes that can be the hardest thing to do. So I'm going to try to be better at that.
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